Notes from Tuesday morning

My son was given a giant box of playmobil this weekend. We have separated it into pieces he can have now and pieces he can have in a few years. There's a lot of itty bitty stuff. He is obsessed with his people, and has whole conversations with a little man on a little horse.

 

We have a lovely routine in the morning now. He wakes up and comes into the kitchen with me. He will stand in his learning tower at the butcher block, eating his cheerios and playing. His baby brother is in the bouncy seat on the butcher block and I will make sandwiches for the day while chatting with both of them.

 

It's a lovely way to start my day.

Miscellany in the morning

One All is quiet in our house this morning. One boy showering, one in bed and one sleeping in my arms as I type with one finger.


Two My PPD hit with a vengeance yesterday. I hope to see the doc today. My baby is three months old, thought I lucked out, but I was wrong. I don't want meds, I don't want counseling, I just don't want to feel this way.


Three Everywhere we went this weekend in Connecticut people asked if we needed a booster seat and high chair. Apparently my three month old is just that big.


Four I can't do it all and I can't have it all. I need to cut back on some stuff in my life and add in some exercise. How to find a balance? I have no idea. Some things make me me, Some things make me mummy, some things make our house function. I need to trim back and I feel like if it comes from me I will lose me, but that's my only wiggle room place!


Five We're doing a behind the scenes gift exchange on GeekMom and I really need to get into gear and send my packages out. I have some awesome stuff lined up, and some awesome stuff I didn't get around to, but I can't wait to wrap it all up.


Six I feel like I'm becoming a better writer thanks to GeekMom and the move to Wired.com. I feel like I may actually finish some of my fiction this year and I have some great ideas for non fiction books too.


Seven My brain is tired.

What my Toby knows

What my Toddler actually knows always astounds me. There is more stored in that little brain than I think is possible. He won't sing on command, yet I hear him in his room singing songs we haven't listened to in weeks. He won't count with me when I ask, but he counts each step as he goes to bed. More than ever I am aware of the spongelike qualities of a child's mind.

While I was pregnant I tried to explain what was going on. He was 20 months old when I became pregnant, and 29 months on the big day. I was never quite sure if he was listening to me. He continued wanting to rough house with me, despite my protestations late in the game. He just stared at me blankly when we passed Charlie's room and I made a comment. He seemed to have no grasp concerning things that were now in the house but not his.

Yet on the first day of Charlie's life, it was apparent from the second Toby walked into the room that he knew exactly what was going on. Toby's first visit happened to coincide with Charlie's first visit from our pediatrician, Dr Foster. Toby walked in and ran straight over to Charlie. He looked down at his brother lovingly, said "My Char-wee" then turned to the doctor, held out his hand and said "Hello Doctor, I'm Toby." As soon as the Doctor left, nothing would satisfy Toby more than getting to hold his baby brother. My parents later told me that he had talked about seeing mommy and Charlie at the hospital for the entire car ride over.

After holding his brother for the first time, he quickly found more interesting things in my hospital room to play with. But I was overjoyed with their first meeting.

A few weeks ago, he scared the living daylights out of me. I was cleaning in the kitchen while he napped and as I turned around, there was a little Toby in the corner of the room. He had figured out the childproof handle on his door, opened it, come downstairs and was in the kitchen. I screamed and he ran away from me. We moved a baby gate to his doorway and two weeks later we finally went to buy more. A week after that he sat in front of the webcam talking to his Grandad. "I scared mummy in the kitchen, she buy more baby gates." How he connected the events I have no idea.

More Maine Miscellany

one My eldest son astounds me every day. A few weeks ago he made me scream. I was cleaning in the kitchen while he was napping upstairs, behind his childproof door and at the top of a staircase. I turned around and he was standing right there, I screamed, he ran, I got Husby to move the babygate to his doorway since he has now mastered his childproof door handle. A week later we went to Babies R Us and bought two more baby gates! Yesterday he was talking to my dad on the webcam and said something like "Mummy got babygates because I scared her in the kitchen." His comprehension and ability to connect events from different weeks astounds me. He's not three till September.

two I am still really enjoying writing for GeekMom. It's a little more nerve wracking now that we have a larger audience at Wired.com but I think it is making me a better writer. I'm working on a big piece right now that is more in depth than any I've written before. I worry that I'm misunderstanding key aspects and that I might misrepresent something but at some point, you just have to trust your gut, ignore the internet trolls and go for it.

three It has been raining in Maine for three complete days. One day is nice, but now it's getting cold and I still don't have post maternity pants that fit!! We also haven't been able to mow out lawn so it's getting jungle like out there.

four Racking up the credit card while on Maternity Leave has some benefits. We accumulated so many LL Bean coupons that I got a brand new pair of Wellies for free on Saturday. Thank goodness given the downturn the weather has taken.

five On Saturday afternoon I tried to take a nap with Toby. I was tired and he wasn't settling down. It didn't work, all he wanted to do was kiss me and hug my head. I couldn't stop laughing which only encouraged the kissing and lack of napping! It was better than a nap.

six This is Husby's big week at work. On top of the regular day he then has 5.30-10.30 tonight, 5.30 -7 tomorrow, 6.15-8 on Wednesday and a church meeting on Thursday. Makes for long evenings at home with the boys.

seven We're going down to Connecticut for a family birthday this weekend. The cousins are turning 1 and 4, this is the first time we've gone down for a party. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do something, even though four hours in a car seems like a bad idea. We'll be in a hotel Friday night thanks to the ever lovely Uncle Ray, so we'll only have the drive once each day. Kind of wish we were staying till Sunday so I could meet up with a local GeekMom. Of all Husby's cousins, there are only four kids in the next generation, this is the first time all four will be in one place, so it's pretty cool.

eight If anyone wants to buy me a copy of Jenny Lawson's book so that I can join in this month's GeekMom book club, donations will be happily received! The library's copy has 28 holds! I haven't managed to join in much on book club yet because the past few months have been crazy. I haven't read a book to completion since before Christmas which makes me very sad. We are slowly whittling out the extra "stuff" in our house so I hope to have a calm place soon in which I can start to read once more.

nine We asked Toby if he wanted to watch a movie last week, he thought for a second then said "No, read stories" I love that kid.

ten Charlie's neck still isn't very strong and he's not making many more noises than he was a few weeks back. Toby developed much faster. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about but I do only have one point of reference!

My Accidental Ad for Gatorade

Mummy, stay hydrated for me.