The Wedding

I'm not ashamed to say I'm a Monarchist. I love the Royal Family, what they stand for, and what they allow our country to stand for. I watched bits and pieces of the wedding this morning in between cries for waffles and Curious George hunts. Toby sat with me as they left the church. This is living history people, and we get to see all the things that go with it, not just the parts that are remembered in the history books.

The Dress - Sublime

The Kiss - Magical

The British People - Out in force and a sight to behold.

Loving the whole thing!

Have I ever told you about my interview at Buckingham Palace? No? Well that's a story for another day!

What I wore

It's funky time in Maine. As in, Mud season is here, it's still chilly, wellies are a must on a daily basis and I have not enough colour in my life.

So I decided to hop back in with Lindsay at The Pleated Poppy and get some inspiration from some well dressed ladies out there. For my sins here are my contributions for the last few days...

Sunday
Ready for the giant booksale in Lebanon NH

Dress: From England - a strange store that combines many high street retailers under one roof

Cardigan: George from Asda

Tights: Walsall Market

Shoes: Brantano

Scarf - A gift

Monday

Dress: Marks and Spencers

Cardigan: Littlewoods years ago

Tights - yes there are tights there, wooly ones, and I LOVE them. Primark I believe

Shoes - George from Asda - they are about to die and I need some more black flats pronto!
Necklace - the locket from my Nan

Tuesday

Not such a fan of this outfit this week though I love the style of the dress, reflects the weather around here far too much for me! Get with the program - Colour - colour - COLOUR!
Dress: Anne Taylor oh so many years ago

Tights: Walsall Market

Shoes: missing but I did wear my Bronze Steve Maddens - pointy toe and all.

Wednesday

Dress: Filene's the week it closed
Tights: Kohl's
Shoes: George from Asda - see how often I wear them
Sweater: Long since forgotten

You can't see the jewelry in this pic and the close up is ugly, but trust me it's there.
Necklace: Made by a friend
Earrings: Royal Replica - Princess Di's I think

And just because he's cute - here's the Toby edition for Easter Sunday:
All of his clothes courtesy of his English Nanny

Nan

He will wipe every tear from their eyes

There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain,
for the old order of things has passed away. Rev 21:4

This weekend as I was boxing up some clothes for Goodwill I came across a sweater from my Nan Edwards. My little Nan would often give me sweaters when she no longer needed them, it's how I got most of my casual office attire. She always had the nicest sweaters and cardigans and I loved coming home with a suitcase full of new colours. Nan died this month after being in hospital since Christmas. I got to see her almost every day when we went home in March and Toby got to give his Great Grandma a high five. She finally got well enough to go home and died the next day - right where she wanted to be. It may have been my imagination but as I held the sweater I could almost smell her house again, her perfume, her detergent, her soap. I must have washed the sweater a dozen times since she gave it to me last year but memory is a powerful tool and I stood holding that khaki sweater for the longest time, flashes of Nan running through my head.

My Grandad died 35 years ago. 35 years. I can't imagine being without Ben for that long. I envision us both growing old together, swinging on the porch and watching Grandkids and Great Grandkids run around like nutcases. If I lost him at 52, well I just don't know.

Yet Nan lived a full life after that. With four daughters having children and grand children like they were going out of fashion she was always surrounded by people, by children, by love. I'm the youngest of the Grands and Toby is the youngest of the Great Grands so I had a different Nan than my brother or sister, each at least 10 years my Senior. I'm one of few of us that didn't get to meet Grandad but he lives in my mind through stories. Lifting a car engine with his bare hands, working on Tanks during the war. That is how Nan will have to live for Toby. My stories.

I'll tell him of Saturday nights drinking Shandy and watching Prime Suspect with Nan and her best friend Mabel Cummins. I'll tell him of ready salted crisp sandwiches and cups of tea. When he's old enough I'll tell him that when my mum's first marriage dissolved, that his spunky little Nan punched mum's first husband clear in the face. I'll tell him that she played imaginary card games with me. I'll tell him that she tricked his Auntie Sarah into taking her medicine by putting the tablets into a bag of chips (steak fries).

I have a locket that I wear almost every day. It's from my Nan. In that locket is a picture of Ben and a picture of me. Every time Toby sees it he wants to open it. He says "Daddy" and "Mummy" in the sweetest little voice reserved only for those moments. We open the locket and he smiles. Strangely enough this can occupy him for 5 or 6 minutes. My Nan had a locket like mine and wore it every day for as long as I can remember, in it a picture of Grandad and a picture of herself. Seeing and playing with that locket is one of my clearest and oldest memories. I love that she gave me one that I could do the same with, that would hold my husband and I, that my son would love to open and look at. I don't think she knew quite what that meant to me.

My Nan showed me how to explore the world on your doorstep using public transportation always with a cafe at the end. She showed me how to be an independent woman even after she became dependent on others to take care of her. She showed me how to have a stiff upper lip and passed her stubborn streak down to me through my mum (ahem) along with her strength.

She gave me a safe place to go whenever I needed one and always had a pack of crisps and cup of tea for me - the solution to most if not all pre-teen problems. She told me about the war when I was learning about it in school. She loved Ben when I brought him home and she adored Toby.

Even when she had two walking sticks she would walk the 50 or so yards to my Great Aunt Viv's house for a chat, no matter how long it took her.

I am truly blessed to have been loved by her.

I am sad that I don't get to see her again.

I am thankful that she is with Grandad again.

I am proud to be her Granddaughter.

Miscellany Monday

one This weekend we drove to Hanover NH to the Five Colleges Book Sale. We go every year with our friend Jason and buy up dozens of books we want and some we didn't even knew existed. Last year I stayed home with baby Toby: this year, toddler Toby stayed home with with Mar-Mar and Pepere. I pined a few times but on the whole enjoyed a day of pre-baby activities!

two I made two Boba Fett beanie hats on the drove to NH. I'm on a big crocheting kick at the moment and anxiously awaiting the new Ana Paula Rimoli book to arrive. It should have come last week but Amazon is delaying!

three I'm really excited to be writing for www.geekmom.com. Four posts so far, it's really stretching my writing muscles and getting me back into things that I put to one side, ooh let's see, about 19 months ago!

four We managed to get all our laundry done this weekend. Unfortunately Toby is allergic to the new detergent we got. He's a little bumpy :(

Language Verification

With an 18 month old in the house most of my reading is limited to books that resemble bricks and those that don't are anthropomorphic in ways that I never even dreamed of and believe me I can dream big. On our recent trip to England we acquired several new board books, some of the Curious George variety, some of the Gruffalo and some of mummy's favourite - The Moomins.

Along with new books comes the introduction of new words and at the moment Toby is the perfect little parrot. In the past few weeks we have produced Grandma as "MaaMaa", Thank You, Amen, Peppa Pig (ahem), and countless others. Somewhere along this parenting road I came to the realisation that he was educating himself faster than I felt myself to be teaching. When he first said "Paci" in the middle of the night it was my first realization that I even used that word for his Pacifier. So it should come as little surprise to me that when pointing at his nose he says "nose", when pointing at his Han Solo doll he says "Han" and when pointing at his toes he says... "tootsies". Hmm it is cute and all but where did we go wrong. Now I have to un-teach him and teach him "toes."

Finger Puppets

We have yet to dive into the world of finger puppets with Toby. We have Sooty, Sweep and Sue:

and we have the Gruffalo

But finger puppets? None as of yet. I'm thinking that these puppets recently spotted in the grocery store may have to come home with me soon.

If only for my own amusement.

I enjoy being a girl

I like dresses, I like skirts, I like dressing up. I also like blue jeans, hooded sweaters and trainers. Very often after work you will find me in my sweats.

However during the day I am more likely to be in a skirt or dress and until June this means tights. My wardrobe is overflowing with tights, thick ones, thin ones, stripy ones, argyle ones, you name it. I wasn't a boy scout but I keep a pair in my desk at work in case of accident. That would be a peculiar boy scout.

This week I opted for stockings, not the kind that come with a contraption girded to your waist, but the kind with elastic tops that miraculously stay up. Generally if I have an upset tummy and don't want the pressure of tights this is the way I roll. I felt very glamorous. That is until I took a walk down the hall way, the elastic gave way and one of them sank to my ankles! Now that was fun in a middle school corridor. I pulled it up and hobbled gracefully back to my office for my boy scout tights. Thank goodness!

That was on Tuesday. Today I got a run in my tights. Oh dear, what do Boy Scouts do when they've already used their emergency stash? They flash back to Senior School (Junior High) and reach for the clear nail polish while balancing precariously on a step stool in the bathroom.

I enjoy being a girl :)

What Toby Wore

I was chatting with a friend today about how it's been a while since I hopped over to The Pleated Poppy for What I Wore Wednesday. It's not that I don't have fabulous things to share, I've just been lazy :)

I thought it might be nice to do What Toby Wore one week.

What do you think...

stylish enough?

National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month and today I came across a poem I wrote a few years back whilst watching two friends get divorced in very close quarters. Here it is for your criticism.

It ends as it began
A whirl of confused emotions
He said
She said
What did they say about me?

A flurry of activity
Grasping, grabbing, reaching
What did they say about me?

Anticipation fills the air
Frustration creeps in
Love surfaces
and is quickly suppressed
What did they say about me?

Taking stock of life
I have. You have.
We have?
Meetings late in the day
What did they say about me?

Giving of rings
Moving of furniture
Learning to live a different way
What did they say about me?

What I didn't remember about the X-Files

Last night begun my continued journey of rediscovering the X-Files. I sat down with a pile of discarded toddler toys to sort through and watched Season 2 Episode 1: Little Green Men. It originally aired on September 16 1994 which means that I am over 16 years distant from it's original audience. I was only 13 when this aired but to a 13 year old or a 29 year old this was a crackerjack episode and an excellent start to a season.

The X-files has been shut down, Scully is teaching while Mulder does mindless surveillance on a case that has already been cracked. Mulder begins to doubt everything he has seen or believed and wonders if there is any truth out there at all. In one of the most defining moments of the episode he says to Scully "Before I could only trust myself. Now I can only trust you." Yet Series one did not end with the wool being pulled over his eyes, he followed the rabbit down the hole and found the warren. It was only when he turned his back that it became something else entirely. The final episode contained even more evidence for his growing store, but alas, the evidence that Mulder gains always vanishes into thin air leaving him with no tangible proof of anything. So his eyes have seen but his hands do not hold. He can but scream into the wind. The disillusionment he faces at the beginning of Season 2 seems to stem from the monotony of being forced into the mold of an everyday agent, to be living an ordinary life as opposed to reaching for the stars. When forced to accumulate ream after ream of evidence for a case he is assingned to his thoughts inevitably turn to the futility of working on something that is far more real yet which yields little to no substantial evidence.

Highlight of the episode?

Not, as some might say, the flashback to his sister's disappearance or the impeccable pursuit of hero by heroine, but, in my mind, the way Skinner stands up to Cigarette Smoking Man without neither a bye nor leave. As a side note I wonder if I am right in thinking that back in the nineties we referred to him as Cancer Man - is this political correctness rewriting the history of social media or am I simply hallucinating? Skinner asserts his authority and prompts a minor fistpump from this English gal as CSM gathers up his death sticks and leaves the room.

I do however have to get over my expectations/misconceptions of this show. For some reason I remembered it being far less black and white about the existence of extra terrestrials and I keep carrying that around with me. But if Season One killed that belief then last night's episode, in which we get a flashback to Samantha Mulder's abduction in full frontal glory, is beating a dead horse. The X-Files delivers. Sure you can't trust anyone but with all these aliens being thrown around in front of our eyes, we don't need to trust anyone, it's right there and this is the conclusion that Mulder comes to. He may forever be chasing proof but the existence is not in doubt. It's kind of cool. I was a LOST devotee and part of the appeal was the not knowing, as soon as they tied of all those ends in the final season they lost their momentum (and writing skills). With the X-files I expect that same level of secrecy but I am provided with so much more and I LOVE it.

Season Two Episode One - 10/10

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again

I didn't really.

The night before last I dreamed of skyscrapers falling into my bedroom (the Chrysler building to be exact), bombs on street corners and a whirlpool opening up in the middle of the street; all of which I survived. Though I have often throughout my youth (and adulthood) dreamed of having some kind of superpower I have never managed to get into any of those normal people with super powers kind of shows such as Heroes or No Ordinary Family. X-men I love. A girls magazine I used to read had a series once about a girl called Gail who had a weather stone pendant, if she said any weather type words while holding it in her hand then that weather would occur immediately. So with X-men I always wanted to be Storm, when Halle Berry caused that lightning storm in the train station in the first movie I nearly lost it.

Do blog posts have to have a point or can they be rambling occasionally? If they have to have a point is the above brain eruption too big for a twitter account which I don't really want?

I think we share too much now, what do you think? ;-) I promise this query is not caused by watching The Social Network this weekend, really I do.

Miscellany Monday

one On Friday we got eight more inches of snow. I was ready for Spring but I had also been lamenting the fact that Toby hadn't been on his sled this year, so we got to rectify that and he loved it. Added bonus? Two warm days means the effects of Friday's storm are 95% gone.two We finally got around to watching The Social Network last night. For someone who likes to craft while watching movies this is a no go as the main character speaks very fast and the action moves along at such a clip that stopping for a dropped stitch would lose me ten minutes of plotline in ten seconds. It was a very well done movie but not altogether enjoyable to watch. The pace of the dialogue is distracting, the arrogance (or portrayed arrogance) of the main character is such that you want to punch something and aside from a nicely wrapped up and "just" ending it really is a rough two hours. It makes you want to cancel your facebook account but then you also now know the kind of terse words that would be issued by it's founder so there's no point. It makes me nostalgic for a simpler time and sad that the future of our world will largely be determined with people like Mark Zuckerburg.

three I have had five yards of Curious George fleece sitting in my hallway for over a week now waiting to become a blanket for my son and it is eating a hole in my soul that I haven't had chance (made time) to do it yet. On the same trip I also bought dress fabric (Orange Polka Dots and Orange/Pink/Green Plaid) and Curious George cotton for an unknown project. They don't eat at me in the same way.

four It's official. Our Pastor is the Chuck Norris of Pastors. Self admittedly he may not be the best or brightest but when he preaches he packs a punch unlike any other. Every sermon so far has hit home with me, touched my heart, given me something new to think about and something to work on during the week whilst also showing me more of who Pastor Travis is. I love being part of this church.

five Toby is being clingy at the moment and I'm relishing it. The vice like grip of his legs around my waist. The small hand reaching out for mine to bring me to a toy. The "mummy" that echoes through the house and my heart. Colds are nasty little things but Toby knows they can be cured with a little extra love from mummy - ah sweet sweet boy.

six We had Toby's bestest best friend Finn to stay over on Saturday night, he spent Saturday with us too and it absolutely rocked. Toby showed Finn all the good toys, Finn curled up in my lap for book after book after book while Toby ran around shrieking about cars, they danced together, they munched together, they watched Peppa Pig together. My favourite thing from Toby? Seeing his face light up and the little claps every time he realised Finn was still there. My favourite thing from Finn? "Tobo, Tobo, Tobo"

What to do on a snowy day?

What to do when one day it's 50 degrees and well on it's way to Spring and the next morning you wake up to this...

First you manage to get off the driveway and go about a mile to the main road. When you find that to be an impassable fortress of snow and ice, you turn around, go home where your Husby and son are playing and call out of work.

Apparently the town thought it was Spring and packed away the plows - we haven't seen one since 7am and it's noon now!

After playing so much that an early nap is taken you make Jam Doughnut Muffins. Yes you heard me - Jam Doughnut Muffins.

Rolled in butter
Then in Sugar



And absolutely choc full of Jam.If you haven't discovered Nigella Lawson yet you really should. How to be a Domestic Goddess will add ten more pounds to your life!

After consuming two I set about working on the lion hats for the church play this month! I will have to do nothing but crochet for the next week I think!

Ah snow days!